Are you becoming obsessed about your garden? There are certain telltale signs. Take this easy quiz and find out.
1 You burst into tears when a houseplant dies. And you hate houseplants.
2 You shovel three feet of snow from your compost pile just to see whether itís ready to turn.
3 While your neighbours sleep the sleep of the innocent, you prowl the sidewalks looking for Christmas trees to cut up for mulch.
4 The mail arrives. You get six hand written letters, two invitations, three magazines and a gift, but you feel cheated and depressed because there isnít a seed catalogue in the bunch.
5 You collect all your seed and plant catalogues, decide to banish the winter doldrums by ordering a pretty thing or two, total your want list and call your banker about a second mortgage.
6 You place your seed order. You have ordered enough vegetable seed to run your own organic farm.
7 You order plants. You decide to scale back this year and begin removing all the items that are hardy only as far north as Jamaica.
8 You decide to have a family because you think children would make great weeders. You schedule giving birth around the garden season. You name your children after flowers. Even the boys. When little PetuniaJoe complains, you think heís being unreasonable.
9 You’re in the middle of a serious winter storm. The roads are closed. The schools are closed and your children are home. The stores are closed. Youíre out of milk and bread. Your spouse is stuck at work. You worry about how your perennial garden will come through.
10 No one in your house is allowed in the spare room because youíve filled it up with seedlings, and lights and plants. You run out of room and take over the living room. Your spouse draws the line when you begin eyeing the only bathroom. You think heís being unreasonable.
Award yourself one bouquet for each ĎYesí answer.
Four bouquets or less: Attend your next Horticultural Society Meeting. There are people there who can help.
Five to seven bouquets: You are already a member of your local Hort Society. Itís time to run for office.
Eight to 10: You already run the Hort Society. Itís time to go national.
Over 10: You answered ĎYesí to questions we havenít even asked. Maybe you can help us.